How on earth did I ever get persuaded to go away for a week on a 'Find your Inner New Man' programme? It was hell, and I didn't even have access to a computer, so I've got a lot of news to catch up on.
No. of hot women participants on the programme - zero
No. of hot women instructors on the programme - one (thank goodness for Tai Chi....)
No. of ugly and/or boring male participants on the programme - 10
No. of ugly and/or boring male participants on the programme driving red Ferraris and Porsches - 10
Day 1 was 3 hours of 'Drumming away your inner conflict' followed by 2 hours of 'Yogic breathing'. Was just about to find a quiet spot to end it all when I spotted her - Aston, the Tai Chi instructor. Tall, red-haired, willowy - could this really be a rival to C, the girl I've been in love with all these months since our eyes met on the balcony of the Oxo Tower? At last, I have something to keep me sane during the daily coloic irrigation sessions.
More to follow.....
