No. of fights with the car unit - 4
No. of hours spent grooming in anticipation of tomorrow - 5
No of hours spent sellotaping my face - 3
People have been telling me that I look very calm today. Well, I'm not actually feeling very calm, but I look exceptionally calm because my face is totally frozen. It's unbelievable, but I have lost all facial expression. When I was angry, and shouting at the company car unit about the Prius, I looked like this. When I was happy and daydreaming about Aston, I looked exactly the same. But worst of all, my right eye started drooping when I got off the plane back from my morning meeting in Amsterdam. I phoned J for advice, and she said that everybody (i.e. she and her friends) all know that you can't fly immediately after Botox.
Dr Milano didn't mention anything to me about side efects - it seems that for 25 pounds, the serice doesn't include lifestyle advice. But the problem is that I now look like a cross between a serene version of Quasimodo, and a leering gargoyle. What on earth can I do to make it all right before my date with Aston tomorrow? I spent 3 hours trying to sellotape my face back into place, but that didn't work. Then, in desperation, I phoned the Oxo Tower and asked for a really dark, romantic, candlelit table in the corner. I have only 4 options:
1. I can hope that it will be so dim tomorrow night that she won't actually be able to see me.
2. I can change plan and ask her to come with me to that new restaurant in London which is totally in the dark, and where all the waiters are blind
3. I can tell her that I'm a war veteran with combat injuries to my face, and hope for the sympathy vote.
